And then the fight started......

[BingoT]

AND THEN THE FIGHT STARTED............

"Associate yourself with men of good quality; if you esteem your own
reputation, for 'tis better to be alone than in bad company"_____George
Washington, United States 1st President

And then the fight started......
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was
flipping
channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."
And then the fight started.
============
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our
upcoming
anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to
150 in
about
3 seconds."
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started.
============
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take
her
someplace
expensive...
So I took her to a gas station...
And then the fight started.
===========
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to
apply for Social
Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's
license to verify my
age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my
wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have
to
go home and come
back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my
shirt
revealing my
curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof
enough
for me', and she
processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my
experience at the Social
Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might
have gotten
disability, too.'
And then the fight started
============
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school
reunion, and I kept
staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat
alone at a nearby
table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand
she
took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear
she
hasn't been
sober since.'
'My God! ' says my wife, 'who would think a person could
go
on celebrating
that long?'
And then the fight started.
============
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were
alongside
the road and
slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and
little things just
seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
'I
AM NOT HAPPY!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one
are
you?'
And then the fight started.
============
Still fighting
My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A
Millionaire"
while we were
in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying,
"Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And then the fight started....


****
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made
my
lunch, grabbed
the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked
up
the boat up
to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a
torrential
down pour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the
garage, turned on
the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad
all
day. I went
back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back
into bed. I
cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different
anticipation, and
whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my
stupid husband
is out fishing in that?'
And that's how the fight started ...
****
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
reason,
took my
order first.
'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And then the fight started ...
****
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She
is not
happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I
feel
horrible; I
look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a
compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near
perfect.'
And then the fight started ...